I Simply Don’t Have Gaydar

It’s seems inconceivable that I have not developed the ability to discern whether or not a person is gay.  The ability to sense that someone is gay is called gaydar.  I thought the term might be derogatory and offensive, but I found several different websites defining it so I’m assuming it’s not.  And I have to come to terms with the fact that I lack gaydar.  Now, I don’t believe my inability to spot gay people is detrimental in any way, it’s just that everyone else seems to know when someone's gay.  I was surprised to find out this week that Ricky Martin has come out, but was even more surprised that his sexuality has been in question for quite some time!  Hey, I saw the video for Living La Vida Loca and can’t even image that dude not digging chicks!  Come on!

This isn’t new for me.  I never picked up on George Michael, either.  It wasn’t until his little indiscretion in a public bathroom that I found out.  And even then I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.  I’d seen the video for I Want Your Sex and just couldn’t see that guy not liking the ladies. 

Even with photos like this one I didn’t know. 

Sure, in hind sight I can see why people would have known.  I guess if I would have thought about it the music he put out with Wham! should have tipped me off.  Still, I was incredulous to hear he trolled men’s public restrooms for sexual favors.  From guys!  And I was the only one not to suspect.

Ricky Martin is just the latest celebrity to come out that I had no inkling of.  I’m going to have to accept the fact that I do not possess gaydar and presumably will not develop gaydar.  I wouldn’t care except for the fact that people make fun of me for not being able to spot someone gay.  Living La Vida Loca has a whole new meaning for me now.  It’s like when Melissa Etheridge came out and you had to rethink all of the lyrics to her songs.  Hm…  I’ve learned one thing though, don’t assume one’s sexuality based on their music videos.  They will fool you.

So, Health Care is a Right?

Well, after some parliamentary shenanigans in the U.S. Congress and the stoke of the President's pen the American people now have a health care reform bill passed. Supporters say this legislation marks progress for the American people and opponents vow to fight for it's repeal. All in all, it's making for some interesting political theater. I can't wait to see if the 10% excise tax on tanning salons helps pay for the ten year, $940 billion price tag this bill is going to cost. What if people quit getting salon tans? Hm...

I have to admit that I've seen this day as a forgone conclusion for quit some time. With Medicare and Medicaid around since 1965 it would seem the obvious next step and I'm sure many wonder why its taken so long. When I've debated socialized medicine with my brother-in-law in the past he always made the point that we in deed have some form of it already with Medicare and Medicaid. I can't argue with that. And what is this health care reform if it's not socialized medicine? It's not universal care yet, but this is a giant step in that direction, right? So, unless the Republicans can actually do something to repeal the bill this is the new reality we deal with, and deal with it we will. Yet, there is something that just gets my hackles up (what's a hackle anyway?) when I hear it; that health care is a right.

Health care is a right! I don't think that I can square that with my understanding of a right. The concept of rights has been politicized and prostituted by politicians for so long that nailing down one cogent definition would seem impossible, yet let me give it a try anyway. Perhaps some remember that document penned by Thomas Jefferson called The Declaration of Independence. It states that: all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It further says: That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That's about as good a definition as one needs to understand one's rights as well as recognizing our government's role in respecting those rights. What we don't see enumerated here is the right to health care. Now, one could deduce from this definition that a person has the right to seek out health care without any interference; it's their life, their liberty and their pursuit of happiness. That logic fits well with Jefferson's definition of a right, right?

But, I have heard politicians, to include President Obama, say that health care is a right. How? Would not the right to health care demand medical professionals to give of their time, talent and resources to ensure this right? Wouldn't hospitals and clinics be forced to treat to ensure this right? And wouldn't the force of government need to be used to ensure the medical profession is honoring this right? Is it a right when it's motivated by the point of a gun? It would seem to me that if one's right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness infringes on someone else right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness then someone isn't falling within the definition of a right put forth by The Declaration of Independence. I know that the founding documents are not held in great esteem by many politicians and still others use them only for their own gain, but most people understand that government mandate and force do not make something a right. I say to our politicians don't use rhetoric that diminishes and demeans the peoples rights just to get a bill passed. It's simply wrong. There's that general welfare clause found in section eight of our constitution that seems to work in every other instance, let's stick with that one and leave our rights alone.

The new reality of modern health care might include all the horrors mentioned by the opponents to this health care reform bill. One thing I'm sure of is that it will cost more than what the government has predicted and Americans will pay more for health care, either in taxes or in insurance costs. That stinks. We voted these suckers into office so we get what we deserve. I just don't think we deserve to have our intelligence insulted by calling health care a right. For the general welfare, sure people will buy it, but let's not redefine a right. That's a slippery slope we shouldn't continue down.

Here's to Hoping for a Waning Moon

I have a thirteen year old daughter and like many fathers I like to make her happy. And daughters seem to have an advantage over their brothers in this regard. A father wants to see his son mature into whatever they perceive the quintessential man to be: strong, self-reliant, dependable, trustworthy, hardworking... you get the point. So we beat 'em up a little and deprive them of things like hugs and kisses in order to prepare them to run this gauntlet called life. With our daughters we tend to protect and coddle and maybe overindulge. I've learned this past week that this double standard is bad for our daughters. I now know that I need to take a more active role in preparing my daughter for the challenges that she will face in life. She's going to need someone to give her a dose of reality. I say this because as an indulgent father I rented and watched The Twilight Saga: New Moon with my daughter this past weekend and have seen first hand the drivel seeping into their skulls full of mush, and I'm pretty darned terrified.

First, I have to say that my son and I did find a way to enjoy New Moon; we both found it such a bad movie that we were able to laugh at it's inanity throughout. We treated it like it was a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode and had a ball. I think our favorite thing to make fun of was Bella's singular facial expression throughout the whole movie. Whether sad, happy, brooding, pouting, or smiling (I'm not sure that she did smile, now that I think about it) her facial expression never changed. I'm trying to figure out if that's bad acting or bad directing. And she mumbled the whole movie. What gives? We both found the story laughable; I mean you laugh so much that your belly aches laughable. I'm trying to figure out how this movie made over $700,000,000 at the box office. Again, what gives?

Now that leads to the problem I'm facing here. Why are the book and movie series so dang popular? Sure, I'm a guy and I'd be easily dismissed for not getting the whole romantic qualities put forth, right? It's true that I contend that the movie 300 is one of the most romantic movies ever made (you'll need to read one of my earlier blogs for more on that one)! But that doesn't mean that I don't get the romance. My problem is it's the wrong kind of romance! The heroine is completely obsessed with a vampire that craves human blood and wants to have him change her into one despite the fact that she'll also want to feed on human blood, that is until someone runs a wooden stake through her heart. And her vampire boyfriend loves her so much that he can't help but put her in dangerous situations with other vampires who want to eat her. Now, he gets credit from all the ladies on this count because he protects her from all the ravenous blood suckers, that happen to be his family! I say do her a favor and not bring her home to meet the parents. Just sayin'. I know I've over simplified the story, but it's hard to get around the truly heinous qualities and laud the good ones. Geez, what a mess.

My fear is that my daughter might see this pap and think it a healthy romance when it's not. We have a depressive, brooding girl with an obsessive personality falling in love with a somewhat good intentioned monster. Is it a healthy model of a romantic relationship for one to go from seeing their fellow man with compassion and good will to seeing them instead as a good meal? I hope that there are enough good relationship models in her life to counterbalance this Twilight swill. Actually, I do believe she does have those positive role models. Still, her mom and I will need to step up and make sure she has a good perspective to work with and a good model with our own relationship. And I really hope this New Moon is waning. Can you imagine a world where all our 13 year old girls are picking between Team Edward and Team Jacob? Man, that would suck!